When I was a kid in middle school, all I could think about was how I was going to survive from one day to the next. Math tests, biology experiments, spelling bees, gym class and the awful locker room, finding a seat at lunch, managing to avoid the mean girls (or guys), battling all of my own emotions which are heightened tenfold due to those wonderful hormones….. I hated math then and I still hate the hell out of it now. But I graduated. And went on to be a productive member of society in the Air Force. I never wanted to go to college. I just wanted to live my life. Which was fine, up until I had my daughter. School for your child, and how you might deal with it, didn’t even cross my mind through the first few years.
When she started kindergarten, it was sad and exciting at the same time. Learning new things was so much fun and she’d come home, excited to tell/show me everything she had learned. But then, things started getting more challenging for her, and I was all too quickly out of my depth. I can learn, but I can’t teach. I don’t have the patience or mentality for it. So we skated along, with me or the hubby all but giving her the answers. She had a tutor for a while, but that didn’t seem to do any good. Knowing that she struggles so hard with math and reading is most definitely a hurdle. One I know I can’t jump for her.
We went to curriculum night at the school tonight and I now know one more stumbling block in her way is the very abrupt, in your face, abrasive math teacher. She’s a take no prisoners type of person. We already have Boo enrolled in an additional class to help with math. But we still aren’t seeing any results. Boo had math homework tonight that she literally stared at for an hour and a half, without being able to figure any of it out. She didn’t even try. She just shut down. I know the answers but I won’t give them to her which pisses her off. I want to see her try but I don’t know what will motivate her to do so.
So for now, we’ve talked to the school counselor and have her set up for even more math assistance during some free time between classes. And we’ve moved her bedtime back from 9:30 to 8:30. I don’t know what else to do. But I sure as hell never envisioned having to go through middle school for the second time around. Because this really sucks. I hated it the first time for reasons I’ve already stated. I’m hating it now because I don’t want to fail my daughter. I don’t want her to fail herself. And I feel like some really shitty times are coming, if they’re not already here.
Pray for all of us because this sucks. Bad.